So, we got The Reaping in the other day. It’s a recent Dark Castle horror flick in which Hilary Swank ventures down to the Deep South and helps figure out why this creepy little girl (who, to me, mightily resembles a pre-adolescent Keira Knightley) is making the 10 Plagues happen fo’ real… and freaking out the Bible Belt.

Ah, and in the trailer, the most dope lines of dialog ever written and put to screen are included:

“Are you gonna kill my baby?” Asks the girl’s mama.

“No,” responds Hilary Swank.

“WHY NOT?!”

Sublime stuff.

You know, at my Dad’s, we’d recite the 10 Plagues every year at Passover: Blood, Frogs, Lice, Wild Animals, Disease, Boils, Fire, Hail, Locusts, Darkness, and of course, Death To First Born (much to the chagrin of my oldest brother).

It’s a blast. Go to your Jewish friend and ask to get on his/her family guest list.

You’re supposed to dab little drops of red wine (symbolizing blood, I believe) on the side of your dinner plate for each Plague. For maximum effect, my brothers and I would (and still do) scream out the Plagues with godly force, reminding Yul Brynner the Pharaoh that we won’t cotton to his lame shit.

For another depiction of the Plagues, revisit that perennial Easter fave, The Ten Commandments. Heck, if you have absolutely no life in the least, check out how Cecil B. made the darn epic in The Making Of The Ten Commandments.

If anything, take with you this often overlooked kernel of knowledge: there were originally 15 Commandments. One stone tablet was dropped and smashed by a dude named Mel Brooks, I mean, Moses.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 19th, 2007 at 11:13 pm and is filed under Movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.