It’s a tall order indeed. A Mount Everest-caliber deal. This ain’t no rookie shit. This is BitTorrent’s official list of Top Movie Villains EVER! But man, who am I to say? I’m just a freewheeling wannabe raconteur of cyberspace, offering mostly useless opinions to those who’ll lend an ear or two. But here goes nuthin’… let’s see what sticks.

Actually, skip that! I’ve suddenly decided that this here is THE definitive, THE most max Top 10 Villain list ever, soon to be appropriated by Cineaste Magazine and those inbred, copycat AFI Top 100 pansies!

1. The Pumpkin Karver
We know this much: no pumpkin is safe from this Slipknot doppelganger.

2. 300
You must bow to the eight foot tall Persian Tranny King, but don’t get entangled in his/her miles of bling.

3. Fatal Attraction
Glenn Close likes to boil bunnies. Don’t hate.

4. Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan
Watch a bare-chested Mr. Roarke kidnap Genesis. (No, not the Progressive Rock band.)

5. The Departed
Jack Nicholson’s go as an Irish mob boss was savage enough to be the MTV Movie Awards’ top baddie.

6. The Poseidon Adventure
Damn ocean.

7. Mad Max
New wave, homoerotic, post-Apocalypse bikers take out an Anti-Semite’s Down Under family. Who’s really the villain here?

8. Die Hard
Rickman has decorum, dick accent.

9. Assault On Precinct 13
(Carpenter’s original version, of course.)
“Colors Of Benetton” mega gang from mid-’70s Los Angeles are a zombie-like wave of hurt.

10. Jimi Hendrix
Dude was his own worst enemy.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 1st, 2007 at 11:14 am and is filed under Movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.