When Stan Lee Dies, He’ll Be Rolling In His Grave
Growing up I was one of those kids that watched Star Wars and Dr. Who (the Tom Baker one) way too much. I played a lot of video games (Master System and Genesis because I root for underdogs), and I had a comic collection that rivaled that of my local shop (including Incredible Hulk #181 AND Giant Size X-Men #1; near mint). All those things added together meant that I didn’t have a lot of friends, but I did have a whole lot of opinions. Which is why I’m so frustrated with comic book movies. We’ve got the tech to make Ghost Rider look like he just arrived from The Gates of Hell, so how could that movie bomb harder than Hiroshima? The first problem was letting a lazy-eyed mouth-breather like Cage play skullhead. The second was allowing the guy who wrote Daredevil, Elektra, and Jack Frost (Jack Freakin’ Frost?!) to do fire-face’s script too. But it doesn’t end there. Punisher, Constantin, Catwoman, and the fingernail pulling Fantastic Four (1 and 2) were all the equivalents of watching Brett Ratner take a two hour dump onscreen. And while we’re talking about the cinematic Horseman of the Apocalypse (joined by Uwe Boll, Michael Bay, and Timothy Story), did I tell you how much of a hack Ratner is? If the previews for Rush Hour 3 don’t make you cringe, then rewatch X-Men: Last Stand. That movie had the potential to be the perfect union of nerdy comic references and Hollywood special effects but ended up somewhere between Baby Geniuses (they’re babies…and they’re GENIUSES!) and Police Academy 12: The Search For Our Careers. I wish my mutant power was time travel, so I could get those two hours of my life back. I’d also travel to when Brett’s dad was learning about contraception. And speaking of once twice three times an abortion, what the hell happened to the Spider-Man trilogy? It started so strong and ended up turning into Superman III. Incredibly depressing since Raimi made Evil Dead, Darkman, and A Simple Plan (honorable mention: The Gift). Thank God for Bruce Campbell.
On a positive note, there has been some rad animated stuff lately to make up for the derth of good comic films. Hellboy: Sword of Storms and The Invincible Iron Man were great. The Ultimate Avengers 2, though not nearly as brutal or violent as the comic have been enjoyable enough to rent. Too bad they didn’t have David Hasselhoff reprise his role as Nick Fury.
Batman Begins was incredible, and if the picture of Heath Ledger as the Joker is any indication of how the Dark Knight will turn out, we’re in for possibly the best Batman flick ever. The live action Iron Man trailer looks like it has some life in it and Robert Downey, Jr. was meant to play a rich charismatic alcoholic.
All in all though, I think I’m going to stick to fan films. There’s a couple great DC ones. Ever wanted to see Robin all grown up? Neither did I until I saw Grayson. Ever wonder if Bats is bad enough to battle Ripley’s Aliens? Then check out Batman: Dead End. You can join the legions of LEGO loyalists and watch some clever stop motion flicks like Spider-Man: The Perils of Doc Ock and LEGO Star Wars. They’re free and guaranteed to be better than the original Dr. Strange movie.
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August 26th, 2007 at 4:21 am
Actually when he passes, Stan will be laughing at everyone he bullshitted. Lee never drew or wrote anything. He did marry the daughter of the original publisher of Marvel.
August 29th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Actually, he wrote quite a bit. He was a teenager when he wrote some Captain America stuff and then became Editor-In-Chief of Timely Comics which involved more than just sitting around counting cash. He didn’t “bullshit” anyone. He just didn’t have to share the limelight with Steve Ditko, and he happened to be the right person in the right place at the right time. Creative and innovative: that’s our Stanley!